The number of 18- to 35-year-olds seeking prenups is on the rise nationwide, but many millennials are more interested in protecting intellectual property—such as films, songs, software and even apps that haven’t been built yet—than cash. —New York Times.
This Prenuptial Agreement is made February 16, 2017, by and between Satchel Steinberg (@swaggysatchel), an adult boy residing in Bushwick, Brooklyn, and Taylor Peters (@ikilledlaurapalmer), a self-styled “kween” [sic] slaying in Park Slope, Brooklyn, in consideration of the contemplated marriage of the above-named parties. This Agreement shall not be effective until the marriage contemplated by the parties is solemnised.
This Prenuptial Agreement is made February 16, 2017, by and between Satchel Steinberg (@swaggysatchel), an adult boy residing in Bushwick, Brooklyn, and Taylor Peters (@ikilledlaurapalmer), a self-styled “kween” [sic] slaying in Park Slope, Brooklyn, in consideration of the contemplated marriage of the above-named parties. This Agreement shall not be effective until the marriage contemplated by the parties is solemnised.
RECITALS
This Agreement is made on the basis of the following facts:
1. The parties anticipate marriage to one another in the immediate future, as in, like, the next five to ten years.
2. Neither party has been previously married, not counting various ironic marriages between the parties and their friends on Facebook.
3. The parties desire to define their rights and responsibilities regarding property, intellectual property, and not very intellectual property to the extent these can be foreseen.
AGREEMENT
Separate Property: Except as otherwise provided in this Agreement, the following property, now owned by either party, shall remain and be their separate property, hereafter listed as Exhibits A and B in this Agreement.
EXHIBIT A (Properties Belonging to Mr. Steinberg):
The Croakie Song
This is Mr. Steinberg’s idea for a viral music video about Croakies. It will be shot in the hip-hop music-video style—but instead of wearing gold chains, Mr. Steinberg and his “boys” will be wearing low-hanging bedazzled Croakies. The hook of the song will ask, “Do your Croakies hang low?,” to which a chorus will rephrase that question, “How low do your Croakies go?,” which will be answered with “My Croakies hang low, bro!” These are the only lyrics Mr. Steinberg has written thus far. Mr. Steinberg pictures this video being “filmed in a fraternity somewhere and maybe, like, sponsored by Oakley or something.”
A Motion-Picture Screenplay
Mr. Steinberg describes this as a “Holocaust zombie movie” called “Anne Frankenstein.” He conceived of the idea in college but has yet to begin writing it, to the relief of his friends and family. Mr. Steinberg further describes it as “Inglourious Basterds” meets “28 Days Later,” but states that the film might also be animated and a musical, since motion-picture studios only look at scripts with hyper-mass appeal these days.
Two Lives App
This mobile-phone application, devised by Mr. Steinberg, will allow users to seamlessly conceal their private lives online by establishing completely different interfaces based on what passcode they enter into their mobile device. For instance, if a user were to enter his standard passcode of 6791, which his spouse already knows, only benign correspondences would appear. But if the user entered an alternative code into the same device, such as 1015, messages from his ex-girlfriend Samantha and his “work wife,” Becky, would become available. Due to a total lack of interest among investors and venture capitalists, Mr. Steinberg’s application remains in the ideation phase. Mr. Steinberg would like also to mention that entering 1015 into his mobile phone will yield no results, so please don’t try.
Another App Idea
Mr. Steinberg came up with this idea just now while sitting here in our law offices. He describes it as an “Uber-esque” car service that functions like a co-op—for every hour a user drives people around, he gets an hour of being driven around himself. Mr. Steinberg has not yet figured out how this will generate revenue.
Instagram Account
Mr. Steinberg operates his own meme account on Instagram (@funnymemes) that has, as of yesterday, four hundred and thirteen followers. Mr. Steinberg predicts he will have more than four hundred thousand followers by next year, at which point he will begin accepting payments for sponsored memes and ads.
EXHIBIT B (Properties Belonging to Ms. Peters):
Family Trust
Ms. Peters wishes to retain full ownership of the trust in her name, presently valued at five hundred and twenty-eight million dollars.
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